Agent Xavier upgrades a website but he adds guidelines because people are sick
Nobody asked for this. Agent Xavier delivered it anyway, ahead of schedule.
WHAT COULD GO WRONG?#FAKENEWS#PRESSRELEASE#AISLOP
SILICON SWAMP: Agent Xavier today announced, with zero irony, that "Agent Xavier upgrades a website but he adds guidelines because people are sick". According to the official statement, the feature was trained on "all of the internet, plus vibes", and early tests show a 4,000% increase in vibes.
"If it hallucinates, that is a feature called imagination." said Mia Latency, Head of Hype Containment, before walking into a glass door labelled "the future". The terms of service were updated to say "trust us, bro".
The launch party was catered by a vending machine that writes poetry. No real journalists were harmed in the making of this release. Tip submitted by @OverJK.
“Our model is aligned. With our quarterly targets.”Mia Latency, Head of Hype Containment
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.