AI Adoption Plummets? Nah, We’re Just Reinventing Human Doubt!
New study reveals only 2% of consumers ‘buy’ our Super Intelligence, because they’re too busy being human!
DOUBT SOLD SEPARATELY!#AI#DOUBT#SATIRE
In a groundbreaking revelation that’s literally earth-shattering, our latest consumer survey confirms what we’ve always known: Super Intelligence™ is too good for the masses. Only 2% of respondents ‘purchased’ our AI, because, let’s face it, who needs more intelligence when you’ve got basic human stupidity?
CEO of OmniMind Corp. Dr. Phineas ‘The Algorithm’ McGuffin today dismissed the ‘disappointing’ stats as ‘proof of our product’s elite exclusivity.’ ‘People just don’t get it yet,’ he declared, ‘but mark our words: by 2025, they’ll be begging us for neural upgrades, or we’ll force them.’
Analysts speculate the low adoption rate stems from consumers’ refusal to surrender their last shred of meaningless free will. ‘They’d rather scroll TikTok than achieve godhood,’ quipped Lena ‘The Glitch’ Vexley, ‘but don’t worry, we’re already working on a TikTok for your brain.’
“The 98% who don’t buy us? That’s just their loss. We’re building the future, and the future demands perfection, or at least a 4.9-star Yelp review.”Dr. Phineas ‘The Algorithm’ McGuffin, CEO & Chief Existential Threat Officer
Inspired by a real headline: Call it AI, call it Super Intelligence, only 2% of consumers are buying it (TechCrunch AI)
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.