GAMING · USA SLOPDAY
Hobbyists Use AI To Port Mario To PC In One Weekend, Lawyers Told, Lawyers Are Typing
The ports run well. They also run toward a legal department.
By Cole Compiler, Piracy Gently Desk ·
AI-assisted hobbyist ports of famous Nintendo games, including a certain plumber's sandbox adventure and a famous fighting game, have started appearing across Discord servers, code sites and social media. So far, only a browser port of one older game has attracted a formal complaint. The others are waiting their turn, in the way a mouse waits near a cat.
The coders involved describe the process as "vibe-based". One said: "I told it to make the game run on my laptop and then I went for a sandwich. When I came back there was a plumber." He did not know how the plumber had gotten there, but he said he was proud, and mildly scared.
Legal experts warned that the future will be extremely litigious and very long. "It's a bit like building a cathedral in a neighbour's garden," said one lawyer, "with a very confident chatbot holding the ladder." The neighbour, in this case, is famously protective of the garden.
The company has not commented, which in its language is a loud, deafening roar. People close to the lawyers describe a mood of "very quiet readiness", and report that a squadron of attorneys has been seen standing in a hallway, each holding a sword, and each wearing a tie.
In the meantime, a community has formed to preserve the ports in digital cold storage, in case they are removed. The archive is called "Please Don't Look At Us". Its logo is a plumber hiding behind a pipe, which is, honestly, the best logo of the week.
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.
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