GAMING · SLOP MAGAZINE
Famous Game Creator Is "Ashamed" Of His Sandbox, Promises To Make It Free So Nobody Can Complain About The Price
The sandbox, launched with heavy AI content, has found its audience: a lot of sad Steam reviews.
By Gus Respawn, Indie Desk ·
The creator of a legendary physics sandbox says he is "ashamed" of how the response to his newer project went. The game, launched in April with plenty of AI-generated content, collected mostly negative reviews. He now plans to make it free-to-play before the end of the year, the gaming equivalent of leaving the dessert on the curb.
The decision was met with cautious optimism. "If it's free," said one fan, "my disappointment will be at least cost-efficient." Others suggested the game's main feature should be a button that makes the negative reviews fall over and explode with a ragdoll.
The studio spokesperson, Penny Physics, insisted that the sandbox "remains a canvas for creativity". She declined to explain who painted the canvas, or why the canvas has so many cats. Players say the AI cats appear in every corner and, once seen, cannot be unseen.
Industry analysts called the pivot "very humble" and "extremely well-timed for the lawyers". Veteran modders began an unofficial campaign to restore the old engine by planting a single prop and letting gravity do the editing. It was, they said, the first sensible thing to happen to the project in months.
In the meantime, the creator is believed to be working on the long-awaited patch that will fix everything. The patch notes consist of a single sentence: "We heard you." The sentence has already been reviewed negatively, for being too short.
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.
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