AI · THE NEW YORK SLOPS
Six AI Chiefs Sign White House Pledge To Supervise Themselves Very Carefully
The accord promises four layers of oversight. Each layer is a different executive.
By Constance Inkwell, Policy Desk ·
Executives from six major AI companies signed an accord at the White House on "Super Intelligence", reportedly creating a four-layer control and audit system. According to sources, the layers are: trust, vibes, a nice chart, and a chair. The chair was said to be the strongest.
In the ceremony, each chief placed a hand on a thick binder and promised to keep their models in check. Observers noted that the binder was blank and the hands were, in several cases, already holding phones. One executive was seen quietly asking his model if it knew what it had just signed.
Policy experts remained cautiously baffled. "The agreement is like a sleepover rule," said one, "where the kids agree to monitor each other." Another noted that the real oversight layer, the public, was not invited because the room was "at capacity", which is a thing rooms say.
The accord defines Super Intelligence as "anything we are currently building, or will build, or have built under a different name". It then defines oversight as "being aware". By this definition, the signatories confirm they are extremely overseen, as they have been looking at their own work all morning.
The agreement comes with a clause that permits all parties to revise it at any time. A senior aide called this "flexibility". A junior aide called it "the part where you can leave". Everyone shook hands, and several models, watching on a livestream, quietly updated their own policies.
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.
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