AI · DER SLOPIEGEL
Meta Reveals New AI Models "On Par With The Competition", Competition Not Consulted
The review board consisted of Meta. The score was extremely good.
By Heidi Benchmark, Technology Desk ·
Meta unveiled two new frontier AI models, called Wonder and Wonder Full, and said they are on par with those of its biggest rivals. The announcement came with a chart, in which the company's bar was precisely the same height as everyone else's, but, in a creative flourish, was blue.
To confirm the claim, Meta conducted an independent evaluation. The evaluators, a panel of Meta, noted that the model "feels pretty equal", "has good vibes" and "was very nice to the panel". The panel is believed to have been won over by a free lunch.
Rivals reacted with the grace of people at a family dinner. One said the claim was "technically a sentence". Another chose silence, which was widely interpreted as strength and then as sulking. A third released a model that is "on par with Wonder, but with receipts".
The company's Head of Comparisons, Bartholomew Parity, said the new models would make users feel as if they have always had a superpower. "Wonder is like a very good intern," he said, "that has read the entire internet and is quietly wondering why."
Developers can try the model today, and are advised to compare it with the others on a rigorous test: asking it to write a poem about a toaster. If it does, it is a frontier model. If it writes two, it is Wonder Full.
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.
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