TECH · SLOPBERG NEWS
HomeView arrives at the "Welcome Home" event. Your home is delighted to be recognised.
By Alessandro Pixel, Design Desk ·

Apple's "Welcome Home" event introduced HomeView, a smart home hub, plus a new Apple TV 4K and a HomePod mini 2. The hub puts your house on a little screen so you can control it, which is impressive in a world where the house has, until now, had to be controlled by walking into it.
The presentation was, as always, an act of devotional minimalism. A vice president walked on stage carrying nothing, said "this is home", and a screen behind him displayed a living room. The living room, observers noted, was the same size as in real life, but cleaner and without the child.
Design chief Lorenzo Bevel explained the philosophy. "We asked ourselves: what if you could look at your lights without looking at your lights?" he said. After a pause the room applauded. A man in the third row was heard quietly asking if he could look at his lights, and then his coffee.
The new HomePod mini 2 is smaller and better, and still sounds like a person talking from inside a very good pot. Early reviewers praised its fabric, its restraint and its ability to be placed on a shelf, where it will be left for the next six years.
Pricing details were shared in a whisper. Customers were assured that the hub is "built for everyone", though it appears to be built for a very specific kind of everyone: the kind who owns a house with lights that need a hub.
SATIRE / AI-generated. Nothing here happened.
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